So this weekend, I went to Lafayette Morehouse on my continual amble through the landscape of sacred sexuality. May 10, 2014 (about 1.5 years ago) I was financially free and I had a choice to make. I was ready to go to a Buddhist retreat center in West Virginia, but then a message came through from a teacher of HAI (a sacred sexuality group) regarding Orgasmic Meditation.
So, having done some HAI, I resolved to investigate Orgasmic Meditation. I spent 1 year doing OM, in Boston, New York and Northern California. I observed the people, took some coaching, etc. Eventually, I got wind of the fact that Nicole Daedone (founder of Orgasmic Meditation and ONeTaste) had studied at a place called Lafayette Morehouse. So I went there as well. I took a few courses.
Everywhere I went, I could only think about Buddhism. I could only ask question after question about craving and aversion. I would listen to people talk about being in love and wonder how it differed from loving-kindness. I saw childish behavior. I saw powerful people out of control. But above and beyond all this about others, I saw a ME who needed others to be happy. I really thought that i could chase women, etc and give myself happiness. And in fact, many people are happy there, but many are still slaves to their environment and running around chasing desire and trying to overlook some very basic facts about life on earth:
- Life on Earth is fundamentally based on manipulating others against their will – just look at diet.
But anyway, all I can say is a regular practice of OM led to a me who really was no happier – I was still full of all sorts of mental impurities.
I really cant remain enamoured of Buddhist philosophy anymore. I cant keep chasing groups with ill-defined terminology. I cant keep hoping others will do this and that so that I can be happy and even if I did, my happiness could change any moment based on their actions.
And diet – why do I burden my body with un-natural foods? I will tell you why. Because I substitute food for being a sexually deprived being. I need that rush of sensation. And then I pay with a body spending hours trying to digest the cooked solids. Now, at the highest level, it really doesn’t matter what you eat AND i am not trying to eat my way to God, even though I am heavily convinced by the books Biotrophic Protocol and Fruits: Best of All Foods. But I need my alertness and cooked unchewed food in a body lacking regular exercise just bloats me. I have it down to fruit juice and nuts and I dont have any nutritional reason to eat anything else.
So given my love for the structure and clarity of Theravada Buddhism coupled with the simplicity of the practice and the humor of Ajahn Brahm, I can no longer continue to go to these various Sacred Sexuality things and keep comparing them to Buddhism and keep criticizing them for chasing their cravings.
HAD I SPENT ONE YEAR IN REGULAR THERAVADA PRACTICE, I WOULD BE MUCH BETTER OFF AS A PERSON THAN MY ONE YEAR OF CHASING COOL THINGS AND SEXUAL THINGS. I’M GETTING OLD AND MY DEFILEMENTS ARE GROWING LIKE MOLD. IT’S TIME TO GIVE BUDDHISM THE HONEST TRY IT DESERVES.
At least until I get a tank and can be by myself. I distrust all churches and groups. But perhaps I can trust a 2500 year old path mainly based on my personal practice.